We had to stay in Anchorage our first night in Alaska. Immediately upon entering the hotel room I headed for the super tiny “window” air conditioning unit, which was actually stuck in the wall and not a window at all. Hmm. That should have been my first indication that something was suspicious. It really started to click for me when I jabbed my finger into the down button about 13 times before I gave up on the temperature changing. Evidently the only purpose the AC served was showing me it was 76 degrees in the room.
By this time, Bryce had discovered that the window in our second story hotel room not only opened but it didn’t even have a screen on it. As all of you probably know it’s pretty much unheard of that a hotel window even opens much less lacks a screen.
So naturally we stretched our bodies halfway out the window to look around just because this hotel would let us. It’s no wonder most places make opening the windows impossible. They want to keep people like us from gawking and plummeting to death.
After a couple minutes the allure of an open window faded and I continued to check out the room. The first thing I noticed was the whackadoodle toilet flusher (pic coming soon). It was a silver circle cut into two buttons on the back of the toilet. One button was larger than the other. Basically there’s one button for #1 and one for #2. Wild.
The second thing I noticed was the fancy pants toilet paper that was folded into a fan on top. WHOA! Hold the phone. I yelled at Bryce to check it out and grabbed my camera. It instantly occurred to me that I would soon be a room attendant and would probably be forced to spend my days making toilet paper fans. And then I thought. What if I can’t make a toilet paper fan?! I’ll have to fly home defeated. Mallory-0. Toilet Paper Fan-1. Game over.
Lucky for me. The Princess Denali Lodge where I work prefers the triangle tp fold. Mallory-1. Unfolded toilet paper-0. Winning.
New Alaska Word: Mukluk- It's actually not something you have to scrape off the bottom of your boot. Rather it actually is a boot. A very warm boot.