Good Deed Gone Bad

During the six hour bus ride here I learned a lot about various things in Alaska including the fact that like most other parts of the world Anchorage has a seriously bad part of town. The difference is that the bad part of town looks exactly the same as the regular part except that it's crawling with hookers and drug dealers. Where I'm from the bad part of town is pretty obvious and can be noticed by run-down buildings, sketchy vehicles and general trashiness of the area. I can't describe how much this doesn't apply in Anchorage.

In fact, it looks so friendly that the hookers could easily be mistaken for just another woman walking down the street. My friend from Anchorage experienced a rather unfortunate situation because of this. On his way home from work one day he saw a girl walking in the rain and thought he would be a good guy and offer her a ride. He asked where she was going and she said just down the road. It wasn't long before he was suspicious that she wasn't telling him where to go. Finally, she asked if he wanted a date. He quickly told her he made a mistake and dropped her off. Yikes!

When we rode by on the bus, he also showed us where the drug dealers hang out in downtown, which I would never have noticed. Even after I saw them for myself I still wasn't convinced that they were out there dealing because they looked so nice, clean and professional.

The funniest part of it all was him pointing out the "really bad part of town" where people get shot, etc. All I saw was a Bed Bath and Beyond in a pretty nice shopping center. hahah. Even though my friend continued to insist that I wouldn't believe how bad it is there I couldn't imagine it. All I can picture is Will Ferrell in Old School. "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."

Alaska Word: Eskimo Ice Cream- Made of whipped berries, seal oil and snow.

Poop Profits

THEY SELL MOOSE POOP HERE! Yep that's right. And they don't just sell it as is. They also sell it with faces with googly eyes, they build other animals out of it, they paint it, make jewelry and more. Supposedly moose poop is the state poop of Alaska (That may or may not be a joke). They also sell packets of moose poop with flower seeds inside so you can grow the Alaska state flower, Forget-Me-Not, at home. And here's a really interesting gift: the moose poop soap. It's literally a bar of soap with a visible moose nugget in the middle. For the holidays, they sell moosel-toe aka mistle toe with poop attached to the leaves and puff paint poop ornaments.

My personal favorites are the shitheads (poop wearing a top hat) and the weather forecaster, which features a nugget at the end of a thermometer. If the poop is dry it's sunny, wet means rain, when it rolls it's windy, if it bounces there's an earthquake, if it's hard it's freezing, and if it's soft there's a moose nearby.

Alaska Word: Muskeg- Grassy swamp land.

Lord of the Flies

Mosquitoes are the most prevalent bugs in Alaska. There are over 35 species. Fortunately, only two of them have been found to carry West Nile Virus. Unfortunately, the mosquitoes here are GIANT! I saw one the other day that could have eaten a horse fly. Not lying. Lucky for me (not) mosquitoes find my blood quite delightful. I’ve avoided any bites so far but evidently they don’t come out in full force til mid June. The only good news is that their giant size makes them easier to spot and slap down before they attack.

Alaska Word: Spenard Divorce-A loud and sometimes fatal way of ending a relationship made famous in the Spendard area of Anchorage. Involves a gun.

I think it's safe to say how sad it is that Spenard has a reputation like this.

Last Dance For Mary Jane

A couple of state troopers came for a presentation on how to stay out of trouble during our summer adventures. As a lot of you know from watching various shows about the overwhelming number of drunk driving arrests in Alaska it’s far from a dry area. As a matter of fact in the tiny town of Healy there are about ten, maybe fifteen, buildings in the entire area. One of them is a discount liquor and cigarettes store, 3 others are bars. I think that gives a pretty good idea of how much drinking happens here. In fact, so much drinking happens here that it’s illegal to get drunk. Uncanny isn’t it. The troopers threatened a two- hour ride to the nearest jail in Fairbanks for several different alcohol offenses.

There’s a place relatively close to where I live called dry-river. It is exactly what the name infers but it’s also a very popular party spot for minors. If it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that if you have heard about a place (especially within a couple days of arriving) the police probably have also. I was right. The troopers mentioned that going there is the equivalent of putting your name on a list to be arrested for underage drinking or providing to a minor. Yet people still go there. :-/ I know exactly where I won’t be going. The troopers once again threatened a two-hour ride to the nearest jail in Fairbanks.

Also, the troopers told us that marijuana is popular in these parts but despite rumors it isn’t legal. I was interested to hear this from their perspective because I’d already heard a lot about this on the bus ride in. I was told from an Anchorage local that weed is legal on a state level but not a federal one. Basically city cops would make you throw it out but that would be the extent of trouble. Troopers, however, would make arrests. The troopers apparently disagree with the local residents and city cops about what the rules are. The troopers touched on a few other offenses before concluding the talk. All of which, would get you a free ride to Fairbanks.

Evidently, some employees were distraught by the threats of the troopers because they went straight home to get high and relax. Bryce and I saw a circle of girls standing right by our residence, on the side of the highway smoking. It’s a while before our buses will take us to Fairbanks, maybe they just can’t wait that long.

Alaska Word: Dip Netting- Holding a large fishnet on the end of a long pole while waiting for fish to swim in it.

Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh My!

Okay so there aren't and lions and tigers here but there are certainly bears. I sadly haven't seen one for myself yet but I'm going on an adventure later in search of at least one. My friends went into the Denali park yesterday and found a Grizzly wandering along their path. Luckily, it didn't pay much attention to them. It went about it's business of sniffing a nearby moose. They got to see it raise on two legs and sniff the air for a bit. So cool. I hope I see one today. We had wildlife training the other day. I am now equipped to tell the difference between a Grizzly and a Black Bear. Which is also known as knowing the difference between waving your hands and yelling to try to scare the bear away or screaming Oh SHIT and running faster than the rest of the people you're with. (Fyi- Grizzlys like to investigate you. Black Bears like to eat you.) I'll tell you more about that later. So far, there have never been any fatalities in the park and the rangers keep close watch on the bears.

Alaska Word: Sunbdog- A large noticeable circle around the sun on very cold days. Sun glasses help enhance visibility.

Sorry I lied on Accident

When I said my posts would be more like bullet points I meant it at the time. Some how I sit down to write the bullets and end up with several paragraphs. Sorry guys I'll try to work on that. Sidenote: I believe my camera uploader will be arriving tomorrow. Well, that is if the mail doesn't move as slow as the internet in some places here.

The Sunshine State

Whoever named Florida the sunshine state couldn't possibly have ever been to Alaska in the summer. I mean it can't possibly get sunnier than opening the curtains when you wake up to let the sunshine flow in and then closing those same curtains at night to try to block the sunshine out. Obviously, I don't actually think that Alaska deserves the sunshine title more than Florida for apparent reasons such as the constant darkness during Alaska's winter but for the time being Alaska is my sunshine state.

You can hear about Alaska summers a million times and never be prepared for the reality of it. If anyone has ever seen the movie Insomnia I promise that you could relate way more to the main character after a few days in Alaska. (For those who haven't seen it. The main guy is a detective working in Alaska. He has insomnia, partially because of the sun and partially because he's a bad guy...I think. I don't remember for sure.)

There's really no way to express in words how confusing it is to never be awake when it's dark. Between 8 and 10 my body knows it's bedtime but my mind is suspicious because it's still light. When you go any place, it's hard to register that it's time to go home for bed because it still looks like play time outside. And here's the really fun part. We've all had those mornings (for me it's everyday) when you wake up and it's still dark, you know you have time to sleep before the alarm goes off. When you wake up and it's light you immediately freak out because you my have over slept. Imagine that feeling every morning around 3 a.m. It's my 5th day here and I can already tell you that the 3 a.m. light and I are not friends.

Not only is the sunshine playing tricks on my sleep, it's also putting a mean hurt on my body temperature in relation to surroundings. For example, it's always sunny here but it's not always warm. In fact, much like Oklahoma, the weather will throw you for a loop quite often. Unlike Oklahoma, however, it's not usually a new day before the weather will change. You may get a few temperature curves balls in a matter of a few hours. It's too warm for a jacket, it's too windy to even bother brushing your hair, it's too cold for a buffalo to survive, it's so still and quiet that you search for another human in site just to eliminate that fear that you didn't miss an apocalypse and everyone else was destroyed. You get the drift. If you ever visit Alaska, don't just be prepared for the weather to change on your trip. Never leave the house without some warm stuff and some cool stuff.

Alaska Word: Breakup- The process by which all snow and ice finally melts away. Aka the beginning of tourist season.